Tetanus Pathogen Hoping It Can Make Boy Talk Like Richard Quest

Lusaka – ZAMBIA
Following it’s unplanned infection into the hand of a restless teenage boy, a Clostridium tetani bacterium reported yesterday that he hoped to assist the young lad attain the voice and accents of famed TV presenter, Richard Quest. The bacterium, whose previous abode was a rusty steel nail said it was rather pleased to be in the bloodstream of the 16 year old amateur footballer, where it could get to work with a particularly aesthetic goal in mind.
“My new host is going through nerve-wrecking puberty and other social problems associated with it. To be quite honest, I am not sure he is equipped economically to treat me as an infection, nor does he have the amenities within reach. Nonetheless, I hope I can help him with his social issues by fixing his voice into that of Richard Quest. If he can nail the gesticulations and mannerism quite right, I doubt anyone can tell the difference.”
The endospore commended his energetic host, hoping to also teach him yoga, but was more excited about the sonorous changes that were soon to occur. “It’s up to him to decide how he would use this capability, but I know a few girls in his school who might be intrigued.”
At press time, the Adolescent had dusted off the barely bleeding wound, hoping it would dry and take care of itself as he ran off to collect his play tyre from his friend.



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